Miss Manners: I propose this rule about smartwatches

As humans, we are social creatures. We crave connection and communication with others. However, not all of us are blessed with the gift of being a good conversationalist. For some, striking up a conversation can be nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. And to make matters worse, when someone looks at their watch during a conversation, it can be disconcerting and even damaging to our self-esteem. But fear not, my fellow not-so-great conversationalists, for there are ways to overcome this feeling and improve our conversational skills.

Firstly, it’s important to understand why we feel disconcerted when someone looks at their watch during a conversation. It’s natural for us to interpret this action as a sign of boredom or disinterest in what we are saying. We immediately assume that we are not engaging enough, and our mind starts to race with self-doubt and insecurities. However, we must remember that there could be many other reasons for someone to glance at their watch. Perhaps they have an important meeting to attend, or they have a tight schedule to follow. It’s not always about us and our conversation.

Secondly, we must learn to let go of our need for validation. As humans, we often seek validation from others, especially during a conversation. We want to be liked and accepted, and when someone looks at their watch, we feel like we have failed in achieving that. However, we must remind ourselves that our self-worth should not be based on other people’s opinions or reactions. We should focus on being ourselves and expressing our thoughts without the fear of being judged.

Now, let’s move on to ways to improve our conversational skills. The first and most important step is to listen actively. Many of us tend to focus more on what we want to say next rather than actually listening to what the other person is saying. This can result in a one-sided conversation and make the other person lose interest. Instead, we should listen attentively and ask relevant questions to show our interest in the conversation. This not only makes the conversation more engaging but also makes the other person feel valued.

Another important aspect of being a good conversationalist is to be genuinely interested in the other person. People love to talk about themselves, and by showing a genuine interest in them, we can make them feel comfortable and open up more. We can ask about their hobbies, interests, or even their day. This not only helps in building a connection but also gives us more topics to talk about.

It’s also important to be mindful of our body language. Our body language speaks volumes, and it can either make or break a conversation. Avoid crossing your arms, as it can make you seem defensive or unapproachable. Instead, maintain an open posture and make eye contact to show that you are engaged in the conversation. Nodding and smiling also convey that you are actively listening and interested in what the other person is saying.

Moreover, it’s essential to be aware of the tone and pace of our speech. Speaking too fast can make it difficult for the other person to follow, while speaking too slow can make them lose interest. It’s important to find a balance and speak at a pace that is comfortable for both parties. Additionally, using a pleasant and friendly tone can make the conversation more enjoyable and inviting.

Lastly, we must remember that being a good conversationalist takes practice. It’s okay to make mistakes and have awkward moments. Instead of dwelling on them, we should learn from them and use them as opportunities to improve. We can also seek feedback from our friends or family to identify areas where we can improve.

In conclusion, not being a good conversationalist is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a skill that can be learned and improved upon with time and effort. We must not let the action of someone looking at their watch during a conversation disconcert us. Instead, we should focus on being present, actively listening, and showing genuine interest in the other person. With these tips in mind, we can become better conversationalists and have more meaningful and enjoyable conversations. So, let’s embrace our not-so-great conversational skills and work towards becoming better communicators.

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